asher is my son

My son, Asher, was born on September 5th, 2012 at 8:24pmCT. He was 10 pounds, 4.4 ounces and 22-1/4 inches long. I labored for 12 hours, pushed for two and finally managed to meet my son; a week overdue, he finally decided to arrive. That day is the best day of my life. Asher is the best part of my life. 




Asher at 6 months

  I used to think Parents were rude or condescending if they said "You'd have to be a parent" or, "You'll get it when you're a mom". How rude; I can 'get it', I care about kids - I've babysat since I was 12, I love kids. Huh ... well. Were they right or what? If you are a mama, you know what I'm saying. If you aren't, I'm sorry. There is simply no comparison, nothing to which you can liken the love of a mother for her child in order to convey it to another person. That day, it happened to me. Holding my Asher on my chest after that epic struggle, my brain was running on overload, on adrenalin, on love. And it's next to impossible - for me at least - to craft the just-right words so you can 'get it'. But there it is.

A few days after I brought Asher home, I had a moment. He was crying, I was unsure of why and what I needed to do for him. I wasn't upset by it; I was just an unsure new mom as the gravity of motherhood sank sure and deeply in. I sat on my bed with him, holding him as he cried that sweet newborn cry that demands total protection and service. And I started crying. I just ... had a moment with my son where I realized how my life had utterly changed because of him. I just held his (not so) tiny body, cradled his warm downy head and cried with him. My life had been completely changed because of this small boy. I think as kids get to a certain old-enough age, they feel a pressure from their parents for that fact; like they aren't sure what to do with the responsibility. But if only we could assure them there is nothing they need to do ... just to be.

I love that you changed my life.
I love that you exist.
I love you because you're you.